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We’re not going to let you near the kids unless we think this has a future, and it may take a while to get to that stage.
We’re looking for actual partners we can love and not just someone who meets some parenting checklist.
If we find that, we certainly want one capable of filling that role for our kids, but we’re not out shopping for a step-parent where just anyone could fit the bill.
So don’t bother trying to cozy up to our kids or push hard on forming a relationship with them.
A friend of mine and I were recently doing what we do: comparing our lists of garbage dating trends.
There are just so many that this conversation could go on forever, but that day’s focus zeroed in on an enormous pet peeve for both of us: the perception of single moms in the dating world.
I think I was somewhat lower on the list than housecleaning and making dinner. I matter, too, and it’s unrealistic to expect a single parent to put you before their kids OR themselves.
Single parents need all the self-care they can get to do this job.
If you seem to be jerking us around, we’re going to put on the brakes.My primary sitter will almost never babysit in order for me to date, and I can’t always afford the prices of sitters in my area.I often have to work around their visitations with their dad or even their school schedule. We already have enough stress and responsibility without dating adding more.Be considerate, and understand that sometimes dates might get derailed by family emergencies. Safety is always important, but it’s even more so for a single parent who is already shouldering enormous responsibility.If you don’t have contraceptives on hand, don’t expect to have sex.
There’s this assumption that we’re desperate and have lowered the bar to accommodate any men who will have us.