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Posted by / 11-Jul-2020 01:54

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announcer: DOES CHRISTOPHER POSSESS THE RIGHT STUFF?

Chris: MY LAST RELATIONSHIP CLAIMED TO BE AN EXORCIST.

Evan: I’M A BIG FAMILY PERSON, AND IT’S IMPORTANT TO ME THAT WHOEVER I’M WITH BE OPEN AND HONEST WITH THEIR FAMILY, BECAUSE I NOT ONLY WANT TO BE ACCEPTED BY THEM, BUT BY THEIR FAMILY AS WELL SO THAT THERE’S NO AWKWARDNESS.

Evan: I WORK WITH AUTISTIC CHILDREN, AND HELP THEM, YOU KNOW, JUST FUNCTION THROUGHOUT THE DAY AND LEARN BASIC FUNCTIONAL SKILLS. IT SHOWS THAT YOU ALSO HAVE A CARING SIDE AND DOWN TO EARTH. Evan: ARE YOU OUT TO YOUR FAMILY AND FRIENDS AND EVERYTHING? LIKE, I’M OUT TO MY FRIENDS, AND PART OF MY FAMILY KNOWS, EXCEPT MY MOM AND DAD.

HAD A WONDERFUL BODY, EXCELLENT LOOKS, BUT JUST MENTALLY WASN’T STABLE TO ME. I’M 19, AND I’M GONNA WIN ‘CAUSE I’VE GOT A [bleep] LIKE A GIANT SEQUOIA. I’M 18, AND THIS GUY’S GONNA PICK ME ‘CAUSE I’M AS CRAZY AS MY HAIR IS. I’M 20, AND GUYS LOVE ME ‘CAUSE I LOOK CORRUPTIBLE. HE WANTS TO STRIKE A CHORD, BUT THERE ARE FOUR OTHER PIANISTS HOPING HE’LL BE PLAYING IN THE KEY OF NEXT. AND SO IT’S HARD FOR ME TO BELIEVE THAT IT’S A SIN, AND BECAUSE YOU BELIEVE THAT, I REALLY HAVE TO SAY NEXT. announcer: JEFF THINKS EVAN LOOKS LIKE A WOOKIE, BUT HE’S THE ONE WHO’LL GET NO NOOKIE. Ethan: I THINK PERSONALLY THAT BEING GAY IS NOT A CHOICE, IT’S NOT SOMETHING THAT–THAT ALL OF A SUDDEN I DECIDED THAT I WAS GONNA BE GAY. I’LL TELL THE PEOPLE ON THE BUS CHEWBACCA SAID, “HEY.” Jeff: EVAN, HERE’S THE REAL SIN. Evan: GOD MAY FORGIVE YOU FOR BEING GAY, BUT NO ONE IS GONNA FORGIVE YOU FOR THAT HAIRCUT.

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DO YOU WORK OUT A LOT OR– Chris: EVERY MORNING I RUN THE BEACH. Chris: AND I ALSO STRIP AT CLUB PRESSED, SO– Evan: HMM. announcer: EVAN THE VEGAN DIDN’T WANT A BEEFCAKE FOR HIRE.