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They had a wonderful evening, their spirits high with the widower throwing admiring glances across the table and the widow smiling coyly back at him. So with fear and trepidation, he picked up the phone and called her. " Late Night Lecture An elderly man driving erratically was stopped by the police around 2 a.m.
Finally, he picked up courage and blurted out, "Will you marry me? First, he explained that he couldn't remember as well as he used to. As he gained a little more courage he then inquired of her, "When I asked if you would marry me, did you say yes or did you say no? and was asked where he was going at that time of night.
" After about six seconds of careful consideration, she answered, "Yes ... " The evening ended on a happy note for the widower. The man replied, "I'm on my way to a lecture about alcohol abuse and the effects it has on the human body, as well as smoking and staying out late." The officer then asked, "Really? " The man replied, "That would be my wife." Grandma's Visit "Oh, I sure am glad to see you," the little boy said to his grandmother (on his mother's side). "He told Mommy that he'd climb the walls if you came to visit," answered the boy. Two elderly ladies had been friends for many decades.
"Now Daddy will do the trick he's been promising us." The grandmother was curious. Over the years they had shared all kinds of activities and adventures.
• The pedestrian had no idea which direction to run. • I pulled away from the side of the road, glanced at my mother-in-law, and headed over the embankment. One of the women shouted to him, "We're not coming out until you leave." The old farmer replied, "I didn't come down here to watch you ladies swim or make you get out of the pond naked.
Pet Parrot A man buys a pet parrot and brings him home. I only came down to feed the alligator." Moral: Old age and treachery will always triumph over youth and skill.
She then replies, "I'll come up and help both of you as soon as I see who's at the door." Quiz: How Old Are You Really? 0 - 5 = You're still young 6 - 10 = You are getting older 11 - 15 = Don't tell your age 16 - 25 = You're older than you think!
From the following list of 25 items, count all the ones that you remember -- not the ones you were told about! Be sure to pass this along -- especially to all your friends with really good memories.
• I had been driving for 40 years when I fell asleep at the wheel and had an accident. "I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older. Much to his surprise, he heard voices shouting and laughing with glee." Morris replied, "Just doing what you said, Doctor, 'Get a hot mamma and be cheerful.'" The doctor said, "I didn't say that.I said you got a heart mummer and be careful." Quotes from Actual Insurance Claims • Coming home, I drove into the wrong house and collided with a tree I didn't have. they're cramming for their final exam." Old Wisdom After working his farm every day, an old farmer rarely had time to enjoy the large pond in the back that he had fixed up years earlier with picnic tables, horseshoe courts, and benches.Then after that trauma, we were put to sleep on our tummies in baby cribs covered with bright colored lead-base paints.We had no childproof lids on medicine bottles, locks on doors or cabinets and when we rode our bikes, we had baseball caps not helmets on our heads.